Tale 9
 
Bertha’s Metamorphosis

Then she poured the contents of her little pouch into the bell of Mash–fatum, turned its protruding handle to the right and waited to see what happened.

She didn’t have to wait long as she got blown out of the room as if by a hurricane.

One could hear her distant singing.

Oh, Mash-fatum you are so sly by right.
I’ve only swiveled to the right
Your purposeless or good for nothing handle.
And you avenged me with a spite in bundles.

Fly from your sapient hellion
Straight to the perihelion
In your kimono, pink and common
To Ra or Jupiter, or Ammon.

And I'm gliding. Dare not to slip
I’ll snooze and interrupt my sleep.
If I could swing the knob to port,
The Royal title I'll then afford.

And from my sapient hellion
Will fly to the perihelion.
In my kimono, pink and common
To Ra or Jupiter, or Ammon.

Bang–bang, I landed in a well
And harmed my cartilage “Meckel.”
On top of that, I pinched my pinkie.
Don't think my agony was trivial and dinky.

Please, rush to Bertha’s help.
I’m cold, I scream, I yelp.
I’m scared in this dingy well
With damaged cartilage “Meckel”.

Oh, Mash-fatum you are so sly by right.
I’ve only swiveled to the right
Your purposeless or good for nothing handle.
And you avenged me with a spite in bundles.

I need no perihelion
I miss my sapient hellion.
And not to make my grouse loud
I will transform right into a cloud,
I am a cloud!

As soon as Bertha voiced her last wish, the cloud was set in motion and turned into a clay pot filled with sour cream to its brims. Emerged from the pot was a black cat in yellow pajamas and glowing green-and-yellow eyes.

Wasting no time, the cloud-Cat started to descend, raking the air with his menacing paws. Bertha squinted and flew right into Wizard Lestro’s study.

Close the windows. Close them fast!
Scary Cat intends no fast.
Just as tiger lives off game
With us, mice, he plays his games.

Save Bertha!

And her salvation came immediately.

“Well?” Lestro said, looking straight into Cat's eyes.

“Well what?” answered the Cat.

“And that's what,” said Lestro and sang his Menacing Song.

He who dared to brew this hole,
Who came from the cloud in a clay bowl,
I’ll puncture with my peculiar,
My hot and my scorching skewer.

And after a reprimand
I’ll cut off his hair strand,

Then intercept with a dragonfly trawl,
Turning it into a rocking roll.
Later dispatch for a thorny mission
At Downing Street under State commission.

And after a reprimand
Cut a new hair strand.

Next I will cast a magic spell
Garb in pajamas his furry pelt,
Fasten his buttons into one hole,
Throw his pelt in a pile of coal,

And after a reprimand
Cut a new hair strand.

I'll jam his paws in a single sleeve
And propel him over the cliff,
Leaving intact just a silky band
A substitute for an Achselband.

Then catapult my peculiar
Hot and scorching skewer.

“Will Lestro rip the Cat’s fluffy skin off?” feared Spark.

But the Cat, as it turned out, could stand his ground, and even hissed a counter–threat.

Catching me will get you in trouble.
You'll be turned into piles of rubble
And for your wane and pompous rigs
You will be hanged on the nearest sprig.

As for your Bertha, the pits
I'll get but another spit.

Needless to say this experiment could have cost Bertha her life, had she not managed to utter, at the last moment, the word “Ah”, which literally means “twenty minutes” in the language of gummiarabicum.

And so, without even suspecting it, Betha requested a temporary death which lasted precisely twenty minutes. And that, as you see, was exactly what had happened.

It would be appropriate to mention here that thanks to her little adventure with Mash-fatum, Bertha realized how devastating the magic machine could be, and did not dare to touch it again.

What's more, from this point on she addressed the Wizard always as “the Illustrious-and-Powerful.”